A new msn window popped up..
Dumi™ says: hii
S says: heyy ;p
Dumi™ says: shlonich?:p
S says: good, you?;p
Dumi™ says: tamam.. :p agoool i have a frend 7ada 5osh wa7d ;P
S says: annd..?
Dumi™ says: ba3arfa 3alaich!!!:P
K has been added to the conversation!
Dumi™ says: K!! hiii
K says: hala wala
Dumi™ says: this is S ... and S this is K
K says: wn3em
S says: yin3am b7alik
Dumi™ says: soooo..
K says: so..
K says: intay wiya il 5abla bl madrsa?;p
S says: deema?..
K says: eee deema ;p
S says: yea
Dumi™: heeey! haha int il 5abll :p
S: akalmich b3dain kk i gotta go
Dumi™: laaaaish wain btro7eeen!!
S: jam3iya.. b3dain i have studies
Dumi™: 5alich shweeeyy :( ...
S: sorry ;p tc
I signed out.
_
Dakhalt the 3rd isle and picked up a few chocolate bars and some junk, and my reliable source of
energy, redbull. when I got home, I changed into a loose shirt, stayed in my panties, and threw myself on my bed.
I wonder what he's doing right now..
I reached for my poor phone. It was impatiently waiting to see some action. I dont blame it. 6alal hadnt called or texted me in a while. He was getting bored and I could feel it.. the way he'd stay quiet for five or ten minutes straight before letting out a sigh or a breath of devastation and boredom. I ofcourse, would stay quiet as I desperatley rumaged through my mind in search of something that might catch a microamount of his interest. I used to believe in love lasting forever, but after eight months of us, I put 6alal's words next to his actions and saw the enormous difference. 'Latgoleen inich 7abeebty, intay mo 7abeebty, intay zojti' he'd say, but as we entered the eighth month he'd stay quiet for 80 percent of the time leaving me with no reason or explanation for his actions.
'someones missing u, wainik?' I punched in and pressed send. I waited for 10 quiet minutes for a reply, none came.
calling 6aluy:*...
'al mushtarik la yarud yurj-'
This is what would happen everyday for 2 weeks. I'd call, he wouldnt pick up, and i wouldnt hear from him 'till the next day. i was okay with it, kind of. Just as long as he didnt leave me.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Bean #1
dear knife*,
your a good person. you really are. i know enough about you to judge that aspect of your person. i've seen you give me things that no man would ever give a woman. you gave up your future, changed, and fought, just for me. i dont know why your still with me. i dont know why you say you love me. i secretly contemplate on ending whats between us every few hours - not because i dont want or love you anymore, but because i dont think you should be with someone like me. someone who lies 70 percent of the time, someone who cant be straightforward about anything, not about where i am, what im doing, who im with, or who i am as a person. you dont know what kind of music i listen to, i pretend to like your kind of music thinking it would interest you in me more. i start things just to get your attention. to get the feeling of occupying parts of your brain lobe. that the idea of "me" is squirming within your thoughts. i was never like this. i never got the urge to start any trouble with anyone. no one. why you? come to think of it, i wasnt ever like this, not even at the beginning of our little manifesto. we used to talk from the break of dawn 'till the sparkling moon shone down on us, we used to laugh about absolutely nothing, and open up to each other not worrying about any disagreements that might emerge every two hours or so. i miss it, i miss us, i miss the old you. im writing this, with an empty but crowded mind. i dont know what to write down and what to keep lurking inside of me. i like to think about it this way - you put me in this raging mess. oh-no baby, dont raise those perfectly drawn brows at me; you evolved me into the bitch i am now. its un explainable. i cant seem to put these past two years into useless words that will only be read by people who'd just feel sorry for us. its going to hurt too much, but i'll try to spill.
sincerely, scar.
---
*knife - a heartless man, whom i'd die for.
your a good person. you really are. i know enough about you to judge that aspect of your person. i've seen you give me things that no man would ever give a woman. you gave up your future, changed, and fought, just for me. i dont know why your still with me. i dont know why you say you love me. i secretly contemplate on ending whats between us every few hours - not because i dont want or love you anymore, but because i dont think you should be with someone like me. someone who lies 70 percent of the time, someone who cant be straightforward about anything, not about where i am, what im doing, who im with, or who i am as a person. you dont know what kind of music i listen to, i pretend to like your kind of music thinking it would interest you in me more. i start things just to get your attention. to get the feeling of occupying parts of your brain lobe. that the idea of "me" is squirming within your thoughts. i was never like this. i never got the urge to start any trouble with anyone. no one. why you? come to think of it, i wasnt ever like this, not even at the beginning of our little manifesto. we used to talk from the break of dawn 'till the sparkling moon shone down on us, we used to laugh about absolutely nothing, and open up to each other not worrying about any disagreements that might emerge every two hours or so. i miss it, i miss us, i miss the old you. im writing this, with an empty but crowded mind. i dont know what to write down and what to keep lurking inside of me. i like to think about it this way - you put me in this raging mess. oh-no baby, dont raise those perfectly drawn brows at me; you evolved me into the bitch i am now. its un explainable. i cant seem to put these past two years into useless words that will only be read by people who'd just feel sorry for us. its going to hurt too much, but i'll try to spill.
sincerely, scar.
---
*knife - a heartless man, whom i'd die for.
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